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  • Writer's pictureRaven Bonniwell

Self Care: Personalized and Uncompromising.



I help my clients find the version of self care that works for THEM.


It’s a very personal matter, and everyone has different needs that must be met in order for them to feel fueled and fulfilled.


A few weekends ago, I was lucky enough to be at a wedding which brought myself and many of my friends together in an absolutely BEAUTIFUL lake house for a few nights. One night, a couple of our friends joined the group. They arrived around 9pm. So I stayed up with them for a little bit and we caught up. At about 10:30 I announced that I was going to go to bed.


“WHAAAAAT!?! We JUST got here!”

“Let’s hang out more tomorrow!”


Now, let me be super clear: I LOVE these friends of mine. Truly! And I was super excited to see them and to spend as much time with them as possible. But as I laid there in bed, I found myself smiling about the choice I had made. The old me would not have done that. I would have felt an obligation to stay up late into the night. I would have worried that if I went to bed they wouldn’t like me anymore. I would have decided to tough it out.

For some people, staying up late in that situation is exactly what they need to feel great. But I’m just not that person… and that’s okay!


What I realize now is that I need a certain amount of sleep to function. And that I actually LIKE getting up in the morning. I was really enjoying getting up at 7:30am, going outside to the bright and shiny morning, and packing my day with fun activities like swimming and kayaking. And for some of my friends that weekend, I have to say, it seemed like they were able to stay up late and still do all those things. That’s great for them, but I knew I wouldn’t feel great if I stayed up that night.


This is a small example of how knowing yourself can help you to succeed at whatever it is you want to do. In this case it, was a fun and friendly weekend. Next time, it might be a weekend of training new coaches at Accomplishment Coaching, or a tech rehearsal for my theater company, We Happy Few. There is nothing wrong with what my needs are, and they don’t apply to everyone.


What do you need to feel great?

How can you be uncompromising about fulfilling those needs this week?



Originally published on Linked-In



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